How to Get the Respect You Deserve (Without Being Mean )
Do you ever feel like you don’t get the respect you deserve? Whether that’s from your family, your boss / co-workers, or even from your friends?
Well, obviously, everybody deserves respect, but I’ve found that some people are way, way better at demanding and commanding respect than others!
So if you feel like people are always interrupting you, or ignoring your ideas and suggestions (or for your kids, not following your directions)…then it’s time for you to follow my advice on how to get taken more seriously.
Because I know, after a while, it can feel pretty pathetic to be the one who isn’t taken seriously and isn’t listened to!
The first step, not to be harsh, is figuring out why you are the way you are!
In order for you to get trampled over, it’s very likely you have a passive, pushover-y personality!
“But Michele, I’m not a quiet person! I make my ideas heard!”
Yes, fair enough, but then how do you react when other people didn’t listen to what you just said, or even interrupt you? Are you laid back about it, or do you say:
“I’m sorry, I don’t think you guys heard my idea. I’d really appreciate if you consider it…I think it’s a great idea and I want to make sure it doesn’t get lost here.”
Now, people will say this is harder for women, because statistically we get interrupted more in the workplace and we are also taught it’s “bossy” to be assertive and to get the respect you deserve!
But it’s NOT!
My strategy is, let yourself get a little angry! But not too much…It’s just, if you really think about it, it’s WRONG that you aren’t being respected and heard. You have the right to just as much control of the room and the situation as everyone else. So let yourself get just a tiny bit angry over what’s happening to you when you are ignored or interrupted, so that will drive you to stand up for yourself and advocate for your ideas!
Let yourself be offended on your own behalf. “Wait a minute, please, I wasn’t done talking.” Interrupters are rude!
If saying that seems WAAAAY too intimidating to you, maybe you’ve been letting other people interrupt you…and then repeat your idea and pass it off as their own…for years!
So how can you get the respect you deserve, if you’ve been disrespected for so long you don’t know where to start??
Well, if you’re struggling to be assertive, you can insert some filler words in there if that makes you feel more comfortable:
- Sorry, but I wasn’t quite done.
- Please let me finish my thought. If you just let me finish my thought really quickly, I promise you won’t be disappointed.
You shouldn’t have to do that, but if it makes you feel more comfy and more likely to speak up, do it.
I know to some people, even something like this might seem scary. But in that case, you really need to ask yourself,
What are you so scared of? Are you afraid that person is going to…yell at you? That they won’t be your friend anymore? If so, then you’d know that they were never your friend!
So, why are some of us truly so afraid of standing up for ourselves? Is it that we don’t want to make other people feel bad, so we are okay with letting ourSELF be the one to feel bad?
And hey, the thing is, I bet 99% of the time the other person doesn’t even know you felt this way. They probably have no idea that you feel like you don’t get the respect you deserve.
Your friend who never seem to listen to your opinions and always waves away your advice? They never even realized what they were doing until you called them out! And it turns out that being more assertive in this moment will make them really take notice, and take your advice more often. Better for them, too!
Most of the time, if you don’t stand up for you, no one else is going to stand up for you.
Although, I’m always here to help with your personal development and to keep you accountable. You can learn some of that take-charge attitude from me …Just send a message and ask about my Accountability Group!